Parents: When You're Negatively Impacting Your Kid's Game

We’ve all seen those parents who get a little too into their children’s games. Instead of letting their kids apply what they’ve learned and make decisions on their own, they shout instructions as if they were the coach.

We get it. Parents want their children’s teams to win and showcase the talent they’ve seen with their own eyes. By telling their children what to do and pushing them to work harder, they believe they are helping the team perform.

But here’s the thing: Even if you think you are giving your child good advice, your overexcitement does more harm than good.

You might even be hurting your child’s chances of being recruited by the top clubs in your region. But let’s get into it:

Letting Your Child Make Mistakes

Soccer is famously known as a game of mistakes. Everyone makes them, even the greatest players in the world. In fact, what makes most of these players great is their ability to learn from their mistakes and stay focused afterwards.

Personally, we learned very early in our careers that this skill (confidence to take risks – and make mistakes – and the mental resiliency to not be negatively impacted by making mistakes) is absolutely crucial for developing as a player. Midfielders learn to check their shoulder after before turning after losing a ball and letting in a goal. Center backs learn to not pass the ball gently across the top of the box after letting in a goal. This list goes on, but you get the picture.  

When parents shout instructions at their children, it’s usually because they’re trying to prevent them from making a mistake. But remember, mistakes are how we learn – and the fastest way to get better. The sooner your child figures out how to recover and learn from them, the more experience they have the better decisions they will make in the future.

So, by trying to prevent mistakes, parents end up slowing down their child’s development. This compounds over time and it becomes impossible to catch up.

Clubs Do Not Like Parents Who Yell

 Another reason parents shouldn’t shout instructions during games is that it makes it harder for coaches to do their jobs. When scouts are recruiting for college programs or professional academies, they typically ask coaches about the player’s parents. If the coach’s first thought is, “They won’t shut up,” that is a massive negative for the scout. College coaches and academy coaches in a pro setup don’t want to deal with that type of parent. In fact, they dislike it so much that many are willing to pass over a talented player just so they don’t have to deal with their parents.

How Parents Can Positively Impact the Game

 Trying to shield your child from making mistakes won’t help their game. What will help their game, on the other hand, is positivity. Be polite, smile, and have fun watching them play – win, lose, or draw. If they win, take them out for ice cream after the game. If they lose, take them out for ice cream after the game. Listen to them voice any frustrations but there’s no need to do an analysis of their performance on the drive home.

If your kid loves what they’re doing and associates soccer with joy, they are unquestionably in a better position for a successful future than if it feels like work.

So, our advice is to simply be positive: cheer, smile, and make sure your child sees that soccer matches are a place where their parents are happy.

At Beyond Goals Mentoring, we know that the pressure of high-level competition can take a lot of fun out of the game for kids and parents alike. That’s why we’re dedicated to helping young athletes expand their skill sets without losing track of their “why,” or what it is about their sport they truly love. No soccer player has enjoyed a successful career solely because they were afraid of failing.

So, if your athlete is struggling to maintain a positive mindset, let’s set up a mentoring session and start rebuilding their relationship with their sport.