The Do’s and Don’ts of Supporting Your Child as a Soccer Player

High-level athletes have big goals that mean the world to them. No one knows this better than their parents. You can’t blame them for wanting to do whatever they can to help their children reach their goals. Who doesn’t want their child to be happy and successful?

However, what initially seems like helpful behavior could actually end up doing more harm than good to your child’s athletic future. Two situations we commonly see: parents forcing their kids to overtrain and lawnmower parents that make the path forward as easy as possible for their kids.

With this in mind, here are a few key guidelines for supporting your child’s soccer journey:

Do: Create a Positive Soccer Environment

This can’t be emphasized enough. People pursue careers in fields they have a positive association with, and they succeed when their work makes them happy. So, your child is more likely to be successful if they view soccer as a positive force in their lives, and you can contribute to this mindset by building a positive soccer environment.

What does this mean? When they’re little, it might mean taking your athlete out for ice cream after every game, no matter who wins. It might mean not talking about soccer unless they bring it up. It means using exclusively positive body language and communication at games, cheering on your child’s team and simply acting like you’re having a great time.

What you don’t want to do, on the other hand, is shout instructions at your athlete during games, especially if it could prevent them from making a mistake.  When athletes see their parents behaving this way, they begin to view soccer as an activity that makes their parents tense and frustrated. Would you want to continue playing a sport that makes your parents yell at you? Positive behavior during and after games helps your athlete feel at home on the field, which is paramount for a long and successful career.

Don’t: Analyze Their Performance After the Game

Another way to build a positive soccer environment is resisting the urge to analyze your child’s performance, especially right after the game – unless they ask you for it. There’s a good chance they already got plenty of criticism for their mistakes from their coach, their teammates, and themselves. They don’t need another person to bring them down.

If you consistently talk to your child about their shortcomings in the evening after a game, they’ll begin to associate your criticism as part of the experience. How can you look forward to something when you know it’s going to ultimately end in criticism?

Your athlete needs positivity and support from you more than anything else. That includes when you watch soccer together on TV. Instead of always scrupulously analyzing the performances and making sure your child is learning from their favorite players, it’s ok to just watch the game as a passionate fan. Much like playing soccer, your child should view the act of watching soccer as a positive experience their family does together, deepening their love for the game even further.

Do: Praise Attitude, Effort, and Sportsmanship

Positive reinforcement should not just be reserved for goals, assists, or wins. This could cause your child to think that your happiness and approval are conditional to them scoring a goal or winning the game.  

So, what kind of behavior should you be praising? The kind that shows how much your athlete is an elite person: trying their best, displaying a positive attitude, and treating their teammates with respect.

These are characteristics of someone who genuinely wants their team to succeed. As soccer mentors, we can tell you that this is a quality every high-level coach looks for, whether professional or college coaches . Good players get frustrated and lose motivation when the game doesn’t go their way. Great players maintain a positive attitude and continue to do their best, regardless of how many mistakes they make. An athlete who doesn’t let adversity hinder their focus is undoubtedly on the path to success, so it certainly makes sense to cheer.

At Beyond Goals Mentoring, we know that the demands of high-level sports can make it very difficult to stay relaxed on the field. That’s why we’re dedicated to helping young players elevate their game without losing track of their “why,” or what it is about their sport they truly love. No soccer player has enjoyed a successful career solely because they were afraid of failing.

So, if your athlete is struggling to maintain a positive mindset during practice or games, let’s set up a mentoring session and start rebuilding their relationship with their sport.